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an example of Darwin's theory of evolution in practice! | I really hope no one replied to this! | hmmmm | wanna ask him what would be serious? | parents out there remember this one..... | apparently time travel is possible! | wow, thats some party trick! | someone else has noticed that journalists are not classed as people! | the first of many from the former US president! | another one for Mr Clinton | and another | i feel so sorry for the person who had to explain what she had said, to her. | i would have loved to see them try to figure this one out! | oh dear! | hmmmm, ok, it might be best to just not ask! | he obviously failed math | another former US president | it's good that he knows so much about his own country! | real money? i have no comment! | that explains a few things! | who esle is there? | where else would it be? | i don't think i want that... | i did not know that..... | what would you call it then? | way to help international relations! | do you think he knows what 'superstition' means? | your right about that! | .....ok....? | is he claiming what i think he is claiming? | well we should help them then! | lol.... | oh....my.......... | ....... | again, i am speachless | that is an achievement alright...... | it's so nice to know they care! | ..... | wow, that is impressive! | ew... | whoops | your right about that.... | awww... | thats an odd requirement | i'm thinking not......somehow.... | i think he answered that quite well... | how wrong he was.... | that explains it! | ^_^ | really? | teachers.... | i don't know about you but the thought of this scares me a little! | i'm going to predict the past! | not what they had in mind methinks! | i wonder why they would do that? | and to end for now - simply superb |
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| Who said it...... | Ad in Arizona Republic | Ad in Jakarta Post, should have read Condo | Al Gore, former U.S. Vice President when asked about his illegal fundraising activities that took place in a Buddhist temple. | Alan Minter, Boxer | Anonymous Manufacturer | Anonymous Traffic Report | AP report describing Fresno State basketball coach Jerry Tarkanian | Bangkok Post | Bill Clinton, former U.S. president | Bill Clinton, former U.S. president | Bill Clinton, former U.S. president | Barbara Boxer, Senator | Bill Peterson, Florida State football coach | Brooke Shields, during an interview to become spokesperson for a federal anti-smoking campaign. | Chuck Nevitt, North Carolina State basketball player, explaining to Coach Jim Valvano why he appeared nervous at practice. | Dan Osinski, Baseball pitcher, when a waitress asked if he wanted his pizza cut into six or eight slices | Dan Quayle, former U.S. Vice-President | Dan Quayle, former U.S. Vice-President | Everett Dirksen, Congressman | George Bush, former U.S. President | Greg Norman, Golfer | GLR broadcaster, UK | Hong Kong dental advertisement | Dr. Ian G. MacDonald, Los Angles Surgeon, as Quoted in Newsweek November 18, 1969. | Jacques le Blanc, French ambassador on nuclear weapons | Jesse Ventura, Minnesota governor | Jim Deshaies, Minnesota Twins pitcher | Joe Theisman, quarterback and sports analyst | John Wayne, Actor | Julian Wakefield, Missouri basketball player | Lawrence Summers, chief economist of the World Bank, explaining why we should export toxic wastes to Third World countries. | Madonna | Mariah Carey, Pop Singer | Marilyn Manson, Singer | Miss Alabama, in the 1994 Miss Universe contest, when asked if she would want to live forever. | Nguyen Co Thatch, Vietnamese foreign minister | Othal Brand, member of a Texas pesticide review board, on chlordane. | Police detective questioning a wounded officer | Radio news announcer | Ron Atkinson | Ron Atkinson | Samuel Goldwyn | Stu Grimson, Chicago Blackhawks left winger, explaining why he keeps a color photo of himself above his locker | Sign in a British office. | Sylvestor Stallone, Actor | Testimony from court records | Thomas Watson, chairman of IBM, 1943 | Vanilla Ice, Rap Star, on why he hired a ghostwriter for his autobiography | Vichy government (1941 - 1945) | Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward. | Yale University management professor in response to Fred Smith's paper proposing reliable overnight delivery service. (Smith went on to found Federal Express Corp.) | Yogi Berra, Baseball player | Yogi Berra, Baseball player | Yoko Ono, on being called a Dragon Lady. | Zsa Zsa Gabor, on the jury used for her assault trial | Correction notice in the Ely Standard, a British newspaper |
| What they said..... | "Outside consultants sought for test of gas chamber." | "FOR RENT: CONDOM... ONLY US$650." | "I didn't realize I was in a Buddhist temple." | "Sure there have been injuries and deaths in boxing - but none of them serious." | "How to store your baby walker: First, remove baby." | "Traffic is very heavy at the moment, so if you are thinking of leaving now, you'd better set off a few minutes earlier." | "During the scrimmage, Tarkanian paced the sideline with his hands in his pockets while biting his nails." | "Most hotels are already booked solid by people, plus 5,000 journalists." | "I'm someone who has a deep emotional attachment to Starsky and Hutch." | "Politics gives guys so much power that they tend to behave badly around women. And I hope I never get into that." | "You know the one thing that's wrong with this country? Everyone gets a chance to have their fair say." | "Those who survived the San Francisco earthquake said, "Thank God, I'm still alive." But, of course, those who died, their lives will never be the same again." | "You guys line up alphabetically by height." | "Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life." | "My sister's expecting a baby, and I don't know if I'm going to be an uncle or an aunt." | "Better make it six, I can't eat eight." | "It isn't pollution that is hurting the environment, it's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it." | "It is wonderful to be here in the great state of Chicago" | "A billion here, a billion there, sooner or later it adds up to real money." | "I have opinions of my own --strong opinions-- but I don't always agree with them." | "I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father." | "For most people, death comes at the end of their lives." | "Teeth extracted by the latest methodists." | "For the majority of people, the use of tobacco has a beneficial effect." | "I do not like this word "bomb." It is not a bomb. It is a device that is exploding." | "Whoever designed the streets must have been drunk... I think it was those Irish guys." | "I think everybody gets caught up in superstitions. But I don't put much stock in them... knock on wood." | "The word 'genius' isn't applicable in football. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein." | "I don't feel we did wrong in taking this great country away from them. There were great numbers of people who needed new land, and the Indians were selfishly trying to keep it for themselves." | "I have a God-given talent. I got it from my dad." | "I've always thought that underpopulated countries in Africa are vastly underpolluted." | "Listen, everyone is entitled to my opinion." | "Whenever I watch TV and I see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I would love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff." | "I say no to drugs, but they don't listen." | "I would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were ever supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever." | "We are not without accomplishment. We have managed to distribute poverty equally." | "Sure, it's going to kill a lot of people, but they may be dying of something else anyway." | "Can you hear me? Squeeze once for yes and twice for no." | "Reports are sketchy, but we have heard that in the first heart transplant operation in Belgium, both patient and donor are doing fine." | "He dribbles a lot and the opposition don't like it - you can see it all over their faces." | "I never comment on referees and I'm not going to break the habit of a lifetime for that prat." | "A verbal contract is not worth the paper it's written on." | "That's so when I forget how to spell my name, I can still find my clothes." | "After the tea break, staff should empty the teapot and stand upside down on the draining board." | "The only happy artist is a dead artist, because only then you can't change. After I die, I'll probably come back as a paintbrush." | Lawyer: "Sir, what is your IQ?" Defendant: "Well, I can see pretty well, I think." | "I think there is a world market for maybe five computers." | "I don't know all the certain words to word it." | "They are not jackbooted Nazi thugs. They are merely German policemen in spiffy uniforms here to help us." | "I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body." | "The concept is interesting and well-formed, but in order to earn better than a 'C,' the idea must be feasible." | "Always go to other peoples' funerals, otherwise they won't go to yours." | "Predictions are difficult, especially about the future." | "The dragon is a very powerful, mythical animal, well, probably they think I'm powerful, thank you very much." | "It was not my class of people. There was not a producer, a press agent, a director, an actor." | "We apologize for the error in last week's paper in which we stated that Mr. Arnold Dogbody was a defective in the police force. We meant, of course, that Mr. Dogbody is a detective in the police farce." |
ethe - seriously....that is awesome, we should try to get a
copy and get it framed or something :D
bluelilly - when i was pulling this together i was in
fits....it's really funny but at the same time slighly
desturbing that these people belong to the human race!
"My sister's expecting a baby, and I don't know if I'm going
to be an uncle or an aunt."
LOL that's a good one
@ Ad in Jakarta Post, should have read Condo "FOR RENT:
CONDOM... ONLY US$650."
RMAOFL! That newspaper came from my home town!!